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A Grandmother Regrets

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Letter to an Adoptive Parent
A Grandmother Regrets
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A Daughter so Precious
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A Grandmother's Deepest Regret

If I could turn the clock back to so many years ago and wave a magic wand, the thing in my life which I would change above all else would be to have fought to allow my daughter to keep her baby.

Instead I went along with society being brain washed into thinking it was best for her and if she kept her baby it would ruin her life. That's how we were made to feel and in those days to question "are they right" was not done. No marching in the street - just do what society thinks as they are supposed to know.

But how wrong we were.

In my own defence though not that long before my only sister and her baby had died in childbirth which had been a dreadful shock as it was only one week after I had given birth myself.

Also I had nearly died with toxic myocarditis a heart condition which took me a long time to recover from so I was in a very vulnerable state otherwise I might have been able to think more clearly.

I think in those days we mothers were very naive, but we live and learn and now the relinquishing mothers hopefully are having their stories listened to. Perhaps it will prevent future girls from going through the same tragedy.

I just wish I had had the insight those years ago to have averted the terrible pain which I know my daughter has and is suffering.

Also I want to say how lightly the men concerned seem to get off considering the chaos left in their wake. So I want to say for myself and perhaps other grandmothers how sorry this ever had to be.

"And there follows a mist and weeping rain.
And life is never the same again". 

Email:   Lily

Copyright Dian Wellfare, Origins Inc, 1995